There is no better feeling than becoming a mom. Babies are adorable! Their first smile, first steps, first words… are all so precious! The bright side is very bright, however people don’t talk enough about the harsher realities.
1) There is no learning curve.
Everything is a stage or phase. Once you master colic/gas, it is over. Once you figure out breastfeeding, they’re onto solids. Once you get baby to sleep through the night, they start teething… The list goes on. At the time, EVERYTHING feels like its going to last forever. You are on the verge of an emotional meltdown in that moment. The nights feel like an eternity. I have good news! Every phase comes to an end but another begins. It is a constant cycle. Be prepared to have a good mental workout and some laughs along the way.
2) The fourth trimester struggle is real.
So, you give birth and have this beautiful new baby. Your body is healing from a vaginal delivery or a caesarean. Your breasts are leaking milk and you haven’t slept. All of these things are usually apart of becoming a new mom. I wasn’t aware how hard the “fourth trimester” would be. It is a sink-or-swim introduction to motherhood. Your little baby is adjusting to their new world outside your womb. Embrace skin-to-skin and baby wearing in this stage. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Many other women struggle in this period of transition. You’re not alone.
I will write an in depth blog post about the fourth trimester.
3) You aren’t doing it wrong. It really is that HARD.
We often believe that if something isn’t going right, it is our own fault. I want to be clear with you, some days motherhood is about SURVIVAL. No matter how much effort or time you put into something, it might not work out in your favour and it isn’t your fault! Don’t worry about being judged by others. You need to do what works best for you and your child(ren). Occasionally I catch myself staring into space wondering how people have more than one baby? It seems insane!
Don’t worry. The good days outweigh the tough ones.
Mama, it really can be thathard but don’t be so hard on yourself.
4) You might not be the mom you thought you’d be… and that is ok.
Before having a baby, I had all kinds of expectations of the type of mom I was going to be. During my pregnancy I spent a lot of time researching different styles of parenting, organic foods, Montessori vs. daycare, vaccinations, breastfeeding vs. formula, screentime, etc. Guess what? Things change and you do what is best for you and your baby at the time. I laugh at my “pre mom” self and what I thought I knew. You might too.
5) You’ll become a new version of your old self.
As a new mom, I was on an emotional rollercoaster. Will I ever have a social life again? Will my husband and I ever have date nights again? Sex again? Will I ever sleep again? Will I ever be able to wear clothes without being covered in milk and spit up?
The answer is YES. It is going to take time for you to settle into your new role as a mommy however you will find a new version of your old self. Be patient. Everything takes time.